Feel like I should update this thing, if only because it is so difficult to focus on anything else, I may as well be productive in my worrying. Had trouble sleeping last night, as worrying has exponentially increased. Did not think I could be in harm's way before, but with potentially 1000 milliSieverts of radiation emitting from the plant, it is clear that even 300 miles away, we'll probably get some of the radiation. Thankfully, winds are blowing westward until at least Saturday...and we have the mountains as a sort of barrier between us. Furthermore, though radiation levels have increased up to 200km away from the plants, we still seem to be talking relatively low levels of radiation in these distant areas. However, this of course is measured per hour of exposure. I don't think it is a stretch to say that we will see millions of people develop cancer once this is through.
It's 1:13am. The night time is the worst time, as it's hard to sleep not knowing what the next day will bring. Being here right now...it's like watching 9/11 in school and just feeling like "Oh my God what's happening." You can't even really fathom how things might be different. Except that was over in a few hours, and then it was like "ok well at least the attack is over - it could happen again, but at least right now things are ok." But here you don't know. We have no idea what kind of radiation we are receiving and what the effects of that might be. Except you know it will be bad. It's kind of like what being on the deck of the Titanic as it sank must have felt like. Or how the Simpsons felt when they dropped the dome over Springfield. Except that was a cartoon and this is real life.
At around noon today it was reported that all remaining workers had left the power plant. Honestly, considering it's pretty well-known now that these workers are going to be martyrs for the cause, this didn't strike me as terribly surprising. It's kind of like knowing everybody dies at the end of a movie, and you're just waiting for the plotlines to play out. Still, it was pretty depressing. They've since been ordered back in (bless them), but it feels like we're just delaying the inevitable now. In fact, there's been kind of a dearth of news since then, which it doesn't take much imagination to fill in with the worst possible scenario. I guess the emperor went on TV for the first time ever. Considering the way Japanese society works, that probably means it's pretty dire.
There was some talk today at work about leaving the country. Seems to be on all of our minds. Talked with my boss after work about the possibility - said if the U.S. State Dept. orders all Americans should return, then we would almost certainly go. Says we should operate in a group though, which sounds good to me. Everyone is saying I should go, and I'm certainly not averse to the idea, but it's like - how? Am I going to abandon my job, my life? Abandon everyone else who isn't fortunate enough to be a foreigner to suffer their fate here? If things are bad enough to necessitate evacuation 300 miles away, it feels like just acknowledging that is to condemn the Japanese people to die. This is so horrifying I don't want to acknowledge it as possible.
My head hurts from all this thinking. It's kind of like a dream, and I just can't fathom anything terrible could be happening, here, even though it seems more and more likely to do so, if it's not already. Gonna pack an emergency bag (at my boss's suggestion) and hope for the best - though at this point, regardless of what the news says I think the only safe way forward is to leave as soon as possible. If you're religious, please keep Japan in your thoughts. Until then, all we can do is watch this and hope.
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